Turning 40

I just turned 40. I am old now.

I've always said that age is just a number, but as I approached my birthday earlier this month, I began to feel it. 

• My left foot (always tricky) started aching more. 
• I got a weird ganglion cyst (benign) that I didn't even know was possible.
• I remember my parents' 40th birthday parties. They were old. So, logically I must be old too.  
• I got really into genealogy over the Christmas break*.

They used to call being 40 "over the hill". This implies that your life is halfway over and it's just coasting from here (remains to be seen). In my nostalgic mood, here are a few things that I have learned through the wisdom of old age:

• Politeness pays. It's one of the things that people outside of the South admire about us.
• Family is really important, although you won't always be friends (Chesterton has some wonderful thoughts on this. Read Heretics, Chapter 14). I have found that my relationship with various family members have waxed and waned over the years (my youngest brother is currently my best friend), but they're always central to my identity.

Taken sometime in the mid 1990s, I think

• Your best friends now probably won't be your best friends in the future. Out of the 5 groomsmen at my wedding, I only talk to two on a regular basis (my brothers). 1 is still really close, but lives in another state. The other two I have not spoken to in 15 years.

• Eye contact is important. I find it too intensely personal to hold for too long, but most people find it necessary to form connection.
• When you don't feel like going to Mass, that's the time that you most need to go. I usually find that the readings are directly related to whatever is bothering me at the time.
• You will forget most of the declarative knowledge that you learn in high school. Skills will stick with you much longer. I can still type 80 words a minute thanks to my 9th grade keyboarding class (not coincidentally, that's the opt out speed for SLS typing lessons).
• You are not the same person from year to year, or even moment to moment. We are all people in transition. I used to be an INFP, I'm now an INTJ.
• I've said this elsewhere, but remember that no one is the villain in their own story. Everyone has good and sufficient reasons (for them) for the choices that they make. You don't have to agree with them (in fact some people can be outright dangerous). However, they aren't the bad guy in their own narrative.

*Like really into it. I never used to care too much, but now I'm doing oral history interviews, transcribing recipes from old family collections, and tracking down birth certificates. Right now, I'm stuck on my 3rd great grandmother from my mother's side. Family legend says that she was a great granddaughter of Patrick Henry, but I'm having trouble confirming it one way or the other.