Baby, It's Cold Outside (and inside when you live in a world that doesn't understand consent)

I can't say #MeToo. I'm a male and, in many ways, on the "good" side of the double standard. This isn't even to correct forum for much of what I feel needs to be said (too many students read this blog). However, I really need to talk about a problem with one of our (not mine) beloved Christmas songs.

Each year, when we return from Thanksgiving break, I treat my students to a variety of lectures on problems with Christmas. I talk about the theological damage that Santa can cause (more on that in a later post). I talk about how annoying and odd the song "Christmas Shoes" is. Most seriously, I talk about the problems highlighted (highlit?) by "Baby It's Cold Outside".

I love a lot of what Frank Loesser wrote (Guys and Dolls, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying). It's easy to write off this song as a product of a society that didn't respect the rights of women. The continuing popularity of the song shows that we are clearly still there.

If you are not familiar with the song, it is a call-and-response style duet in which a woman (identified in the original sheet music as "mouse") is seduced by a man ("wolf"). She makes a variety of statements to fend him off: "I really can't stay", "The answer is no", and perhaps most disturbing "What's in this drink?". The wolf responds with some rather disturbing things: "No cabs to be had out there", "What's the sense of hurting my pride?", "How can you do this thing to me?"

How can we possibly think this song is romantic? The fact that we do says that something is deeply, deeply wrong in our society. No means no. Simple.

Many people have defended this song to me as saying "The woman is clearly just teasing". That's an excuse that many men who are caught disrespecting women try. No means no.

Most of my favorite artists have covered this song. I have no idea why. It doesn't matter that eventually she says yes after he has continually disrespected her. The song implies that it is her decision to stay. It's not. No means no.

I hope this year our country will start to wake up to the underlying message of the song and start to push it off the radio.

PS: Last year, a songwriter changed the lyrics to reflect consent. It's an interesting take.