My Lucky Fin

 I've been promising this post for a while. Those of you who know me in person have probably noticed that I walked with a limp sometimes. It's not your imagination; my left foot is very messed up. I affectionately call it my lucky fin.

One of the many things I share in common with Nemo.

The story is actually pretty fascinating. I was too young to remember a lot of it, but my mom takes copious notes* and saves everything, so I can reconstruct a lot of it.

When I was less than a year old, I was diagnosed with an arteriovenous malformation. More specifically, a peripheral limb AVM, so less serious than one in the brain, but still needing correction. Two surgeries later, it was taken care of.

I thought I had a better picture, but you can see the cast.

Unfortunately, this left me with major scarring on my left calf (ask me to show you sometime). My whole leg developed wonky. The doctor's notes that I have say "Scarring in the gastrosoleus complex has left him with an extremely tight heel cord and a tendency to break at the midfoot and difficulty getting his heel down to the ground when he walks". Another diagnosis says: "He has an equinus contracture of his left foot due to a soft tissue muscle contracture that has caused him to have midfoot breakdown and a pes planovalgus position of his foot. He walks with an externally rotated gait."

Breaking this down:

• Gastrosoleus complex: calf muscles
• Equinus contracture: inability to bring foot up to a right angle with the leg
• Midfoot breakdown: not an exact link because this one is really interesting. Since my ankle did not have a full range of motion, the bones in my midfoot developed greatly increased movement. My foot acts as the hinge that the ankle could not!
• Planovalgus position: flat feet. I have absolutely no arch on my left foot. When I leave a wet footprint, it looks almost like a perfect oval.
• Rotated gait: aka "out-toeing"

Also, my left leg is a little shorter than the right.

So, this is what happened as I was growing up. In freshmen year of highschool, we started to get a little concerned about some pain. Doctors took a look at it and determined that without corrective surgery, I would probably need a cane by the time I was 30. The surgery decided upon was a heel cord lengthening. This was done the summer after my freshmen year. So I started sophomore year at a brand new school (Stony Point had just opened) with a cast and later a leg brace.

I still wear orthotic inserts and occasionally an ankle brace. I have to do stretches and some days my leg really hurts by the evening (that's when you may see me limping). No cane yet (but if I do get one, I'll get something cool).

One of the few things I think is cool about series.

What's the point of this whole story? I'm not sure. I guess here's a few ways that it impacted my life:

• I was never much good at sports (that's probably not just due to the leg). So I did theatre and debate.
• Some kids made fun of my limp in school, but people can make fun of just about anything. So if I didn't limp, they'd have picked something else.
• I briefly considered joining the military after 9/11 (it was my senior year of high school). The recruiter made a face when he saw my limp, so I didn't end up going through with it and continued on my plan to study theatre lighting design (that didn't end up happening either).
• My favorite cardio machine is the elliptical since my foot can stay in position. 

*Note taking is how she deals with stress. I can tell you what I had for dinner on the evening after my surgery in 1999, what time the food came, and what movie I was watching (chicken sandwich, mashed potatoes, Dr. Pepper, 7:15, The Scarlet and the Black)